THE NEW YORK DIARY: July 5-9
Thursday July 5
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3:51am
Woke up. Worried that the alarm might not go off. Does this mean I am turning into my father? It could also be related to my last flight to Sweden in which the following happened:
1/Got up early to pack
2/Finished packing went back to bed
3/Woke up 40 minutes before my flight was supposed to depart in a panic. Somehow I had set my alarm but not "activated" it. Stupid system.
4/Ran outside desperate to find a taxi, and for once, in the middle of the day, it actually did work out. Are there actually more taxis that work at night or does it just feel like that?
I ended up making the flight - though in the rush I somehow forgot my passport. The interesting thing about that, after the initial panic, was the fact that I was somehow able to fly to Sweden and then back to Germany with only my Swedish ID card. I am always amazed when I hear about the government actually foiling a terrorist plot.
4:15
Bread, tomatoes and cheese for breakfast.
4:40
Catch the S-Bahn, and then bus to the airport.
5:20
Check in at the Alitalia counter. They have a sign flashing regarding the fact that there is NO WAY carry on is allowed to be over 5kg. That is even more insane than the already insane 10kg limit. If they are going to be that anal about it they may as well just sell us our tickets by the kilo - body mass included. Of course they didn't check.
6:10
Board the Alitalia flight. The plane has the oldest seats I have sat on while flying in the last 10 years or so. They are also a terrible shade of green.
6:50
Shortly after takeoff they hand out a rancid slice of meringue pie. It is so bad that even I, airline food lover - not to mention starving - cannot manage more than a couple bites. The MUST KNOW how much that this pie sucks. Assholes.
7:00
The black guy sitting ahead of me JAMS his seat back at high velocity into my legs. And these old seats seem to go a few degrees farther back than newer ones. I immediately and for the rest of the trip now think of him as some rich robber baron from some poor african country that is so ruthless no one has ever told him anything he does could be in the least discomforting.
8:00
Arrive and have to take a bus. I had no idea we needed to take a bus so I took my sweet time getting off the plane. The bus was waiting for me as I was the last person on. I am not a fan of airports where you have to take a bus to or from the terminal and the plane. It is often the least pleasant part of the flight. Unless they serve lemon meringue pie.
8:15
Have to go through a passport check and the guy loses his shit for a minute because I don't have a boarding pass (I have to get one at the transfer desk, which is on the other side of the passport check). A second security guard hustles over - with body language indicating that it has been far too long since he got to do an invasive body search - and things are tense until I finally whip out a luckily printed out flight itinerary.
8:30
Get my transfer. I don't know if it just because their computers don't have any graphics, but I always feel like airport staff are running everything on commodore 64s.
8:50
Get some turgid airport food and spend 10 euro doing it. I need to get better at packing snacks. A 10 euro meal in Berlin would be a feast.
9:20
Sit down in one of the incredibly comfortable seats at the Milan airport that even has a built in footstool. Perhaps he highlight of the trip so far. Have almost 2 hours to kill so start working on formatting my thesis title pages. I am tired. One hour of sleep is not enough.
11:00
First am told that my silver medallion status does not entitle me an upgrade, even though they do have business class seats available on the flight. Then, when I go up and speak to a different representative they apologize that they cannot upgrade me because there are no more available seats. What the hell happened in the meantime? And I have to take a bus to the plane.
11:40
They make me put my laptop away insanely early, so I work on the crossword. Get stuck with about 4 words left. Hate that. Am sitting next to a businessman with fish on his belt. Man, do I ever sometimes feel like I don't want to have a career. He is now going through the receipts from his trip.
13:30
Tried to nap a bit and woke up to see that the movie is "Blades of Glory". Seen it. Not impressed that there are no individual screens on the flight, but perhaps it will aid me in getting a bit more sleep. That and the fact that my computer battery is about to die. I am starving.
14:30
Finally got food. The stewardess is on her first flight and already fucked up giving out the customs forms so I am a bit dubious about the results when I ask her for a second meal. I always do second meal. Only time I did third meal, that I remember, was on our trip to Mexico during reading week. Still can't believe I never went to a traditional get drunk/get pussy reading week during university. I will have a few things to tell my kids (if they are boys).
16:06
Had a moment with the businessman next to me when I swore under my breath about the seatbelt/no-smoking sign dinging every minute or so. His response:
-Tell me about it.
18:32
Getting close now. Have been drowsing, but no real sleep. I wonder how long I am going to hold out on sleeping pills. I wonder why the fuck I have held out this long. On the screens (still can't believe there aren't individual screens on this flight - should be mandatory on trans-ocean flights) there is some movie or some show I have seen before on an airplane but years before. It was terrible. Some black kid working at a convenience store gets held up and is afraid to tell on the guy who did the robbery because they know each other and the other guy is a big tough thug. This sucks. And I can't change the channel.
SWITCHING TO NEW YORK TIME
15:10
Arrive, get off and get my stuff. Fairly uneventful. Find out that it is a bit of a crock of shit to get into Manhattan. Need to take an "Air Train" from the terminal a few miles out and then jump on the E train. So the FIRST strike is that there is not a direct way to go from the airport to downtown on public transit. The SECOND even bigger strike is that you can ride anywhere you want on a $2 subway ticket in new york, but somehow the magical air train thinks nothing of charging 5 additional dollars. What a crock of shit. Sorry, but your airport kind of sucks if you don't have the option of taking public transit all the way there. Fuck you air train.
16:50
Finally get into Manhattan at 53rd and 5th. Can switch lines and ride one station to get closer to the law office I am meeting Dave at but it is rammed with people and sweltering on the subway platform. I am amazed by how many police officers there are everywhere here. At this subway platform alone I count 6.
17:20
Get to Dave's office. Am sweating and stinking. The sport jacket which was necessary in Berlin killed me on the walk over. Being in New York feels good. Takes a while to ring up to Dave, but he finally arrives and we head briefly up to his office. I feel like if they are spending 100 bucks on lunch for everyone every day the least they might be able to do is try and make the offices look kind of sweet. Guess not. They seem to figure an aeron chair and a view of manhattan should pretty much do it. Are Aeron chairs REALLY the most comfortable chairs in the world or are businesses really that goddamn predictable? I mean, if you have a few bucks to spend why not try and spend it at least with a moderate amount of imagination?
18:30
Get to Dave's apartment. 223 west 21st. It's a nice place on the 4th floor.
19:20
Have some gin on the rocks. Am so tired I start getting drunk right away.
20:25
Finally, after talking about how hungry we are for some time, get burritos at a place close to Dave's. They are incredible. I get the Bob Marley jerk chicken. Wonder how much the first two words of the name add to sales.
21:10
Arrive at 14th and 1st, maybe it's called the East Village. Saw in the Vice guide that that is "the place". We walk down Avenue B. Full of lots of bars that all look like fun but all kind of look the same. Cross Houston and check out a place called Piano. Get a drink. Go upstairs with drinks and are promptly informed that it is table service only when we sit at a table. We go sit on a couch and she comes over and immediately tells us that the table service only goes for the couches too. wtf.
22:30
Check out a few more bars - including Max Fish, which Vice has dubbed the coolest bar in New York. Not sure how that one happened. It's fine. But I am tired so before midnight we head back to the house.
01:30
Head to sleep after watching a bit of Entourage. I am addicted after watching 6 episodes in a row on the flight over.
Friday, July 6, 2007
12:00
Get out of bed. Feel alright. Take a shower. Watch some entourage as I eat the oatmeal Dave made me. What a prince. A predictable prince in this case, but a prince all the same.
14:20
Go for a run. Do a loop that goes first to the east coast of Manhattan island, then through alphabet city, then down to Houston before turning back west. Make my way slowly back. Jogging/walking/going into stores. Find a cool sneaker store with great prices and tons of styles but everything seems to only exist up to a size 8.
16:40
Get home after a stop off at Whole Foods (god I love that grocery store) and Jamba juice (another one I have missed in Berlin and can GUARANTEE would be a hit over here). Perhaps with a bit of a more indie logo. But after they got into it they could have any logo they wanted.
17:30
Dave comes by the house. I am watching entourage. We both crack a beer. Dave basically stops at that point. I hadn't realized that he doesn't drink beer anymore. What a guy. And now he is:
"...really into Tequila now, but only good Tequila."
19:00
We make it out, with the flask in tow (filled with gin, and ice cold from the freezer - though basically all it does is freeze Dave's ass for the subway ride, by which time it is warm).
19:20
Walk around the lower east side looking for a place to eat. Pass by an art opening and stop in. It is fucking sweltering inside, but we brave the heat and make our way to the back for a free beer (or at least I do). I try to step outside the front door to drink it in order to minimize sweating and am immediately told:
"not allowed out here with that bro"
What an ASININE LAW! Only in North America. The land of the free. But the land where you can't sit in the park with some friends and have a beer. What a terrible joke - and I realize this all the more coming from Berlin. The problem is also that the few places in the country where you can drink in the street (Vegas, Key West, etc.) people are so excited about it they go bananas. So then anti-public drinking people are like:
"See?! I told you!"
When obviously it is the incredible restriction itself which creates these over the top excesses. Enough.
20:05
Go to a restaurant with a patio. Try to order a Mai Thai. They don't know what it is so I have to explain it. I feel both slightly proud and slightly like a loser doing this. Dave gets a French 75. We order burgers.
20:15
A table on the outside patio opens up, we nab it. Drinks and food are great. Waiter is great. Just the right amount of service and friendliness. I order a beer and Dave a glass of tonic water which we douse with some gin from the flask.
20:30
Talk to Ying-Ying - she is heading to the Vice photo party and gives us the address. We find it on the map.
21:10
Riding the train to Williamsburg in the Bronx I see a girl who looks suspiciously like Ying Ying (remember I haven't seen her in 5 years or so). I call her. She sees her phone ringing and looks at it but doesn't answer. Totally busted. I tell Dave that it is Ying Ying. She turns and looks at us looking at her and gets that dawning recognition look. Priceless.
21:25
Get to the Vice party. Cans of Colt45 are being given away. Don't think I have had one since university. Actually seems better than I remember. See some photos. Meet a couple Austrian girls. Try to talk German to them. They humor me for a few minutes. And it is fucking hot inside, but of course no drinking on the sidewalk. We're in a civilized country here.
22:00
Party finishes up, follow a coupe of Ying Ying's friends to another bar.
22:45
Getting pretty drunk at this point. Steal a drink just so that I don't have to wait in line at the bar. Don't really remember our conversation. Dave seems to be in a good mood.
23:30
Go to a bar that some guy recommended to me. It is Dave, YingYing and I at this point. The bar is mediocre. We go to sit outside and see a party in the 4th story of the building across the street. Dave is about to go check it out when YY surprises us by puking right beside where she is sitting.
23:45
Hang out talking to Ying Ying while dave reconnoiters the party. YY decides that she is too drunk to continue (after puking again) and takes a cab home. I meet Dave and we head into the house party.
00:20
Talk to a Japanese girl on the balcony at the party with Dave. She is hilarious in that Japanese girl way. You almost want to experiement with their heads as much as talk to them. Dave asks the classic:
"what's your favourite flavour" question.
But doesn't get the answer he was hoping for (mayonnaise).
0:55
Decide to head back to the lower East Side for some bar hopping.
2:25
Spend about 5 bucks in the jukebox trying to get it to play the same song over and over. No success. We are suspicious about how connected to the sound system the jukebox actually is.
2:30
Follow this up with 2 man pinball. One per flipper. Inefficient but exciting. We reach a high of 9 million. Replay at 36. No matches.
3:15
Go to the dark bar or whatever it is called across from Max Fish. They are playing good music and we dance a bit and then decide to head home.
4:00
Play brick breaker on YingYing's blackberry (which she forgot on the ground and Dave, luckily, found) all the way back on the subway.
SATURDAY JULY 7, 2007
10:50
I wake up and look at the clock on my computer. 16:50. I can't fucking believe it. I slept (and apparently Dave too) until 5pm. I run down the hall to tell Dave, and as I open the door it dawns on me that my computer is still on Germany time. Feeling equal parts foolish and relieved I watch some episodes of Entourage since the adrenaline surge has put falling back asleep out of the question.
12:20
Dave gets up. Makes oatmeal. Attaboy. We watch some Entourage. Dave hasn't seen it before but immediately gets into it. Of course. We read our 7:30am messages from YingYing apologizing for the night before. We dawdle around for a while. I remember that the song I was thinking of at the jukebox the other night was Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up". We put it on repeat (NB: credit for this selection goes to Bill Simmons).
14:10
Leave the house and show Dave whole foods. He gets excited about the raw sprouts. He says:
-They're an energy food!
14:30
Go to Best Buy to get a camera for the weekend that I will return on Monday. See the one I want and ask the salesman for it. As he is taking it out he starts his spiel:
-Well there are two warranties we offer with this camera, you can either get 2 years for 24.99 or -
I cut him off there.
-No thanks, I'm not going to take any warranty.
He gives me a look.
-Ok, so, there's a 15% restocking fee on the camera (the camera is 200 bucks, therefore 30 dollar restocking fee).
He slaps a sticker to that effect onto the box and tells us to meet him at the cash. We do no such thing and leave the store post-haste.
We begin laughing when it dawns on us how utterly transparent our scheme was, and decide to try and find out if the 15% is a standard fee at some point
14:45
Go into Staples across the street and act very indecisive over which camera to buy. I hem and haw for a while and then "seriously consider" the extended warranty. We get the camera minus a restocking fee.
15:15
Drop off the camera box at the house. Leave. Realize about 20 minutes later that I left the battery in the charger at home. So now I have to carry around the camera in my pocket all night for absolutely no reason. I am D-lighted.
17:00
Walk/bus it toward Chinatown. Stop in Washington Park. What a great scene. Don't know where I would find that in Berlin. Or anywhere in Europe.
17:23
Check out some second hand books. Buy A Quiet American and a book on writing by Twain. Great selection and the guy really knows his stuff, but doesn't flaunt it.
17:50
Head south and call Ying Ying - she is one block away. We meet up by an ice cream truck.
17:55
I see a guy selling Rolexs on the corner. I get him to go from 60 to 30. Should have got him to adjust the size however.
18:30
Canal street is a nightmare for walking but we finally make it to the dumpling place Ying Ying knows.
18:47
Dave burns his tongue on the dumplings. They are great. The rest of the food we get is mediocre. The place is packed. We have to share our table with another 3 people. I kind of like it.
19:22
Go to a chinese ice cream place. Get durian and something else. It is actually really good but I am so full I can barely get it down. Dave fills in pretty well though.
19:50
Walking home we stop in to check out some Ted Baker shirts for Dave. In pink of course.
20:15
Get home and have some gin. Sit on the fire escape.
21:50
Head over to 230 on 5th - a recommendation by a girl on somewhere to go have a drink "high up". There is a huge line and we are about to puke but then notice it is moving incredibly fast. We jump in and within 5 minutes are on the elevator up. The view is amazing. 20th floor in Midtown. We get a couple drinks and sneak in the servers entrance to the VIP area which is less crowded and grab a couple of seats there.
22:07
A waitress comes by and tells us that she is on to us, but that she won't kick us out right away - we can finish our drinks. I am impressed.
22:17
A pair of girls sit down with us. We have a fairly typical but enjoyable conversation.
22:35
The waitress comes by again and we have to leave this time.
23:05
Take a taxi down to the club on Greenwich street where the misshapes party is happening.
23:15
Not delighted with the 10 dollar cover.
23:20
Even less delighted with the 7 dollar bottled beers.
23:35
Music is getting pretty good.
2:10
Decide to head out. Decide to walk.
2:30....etc
End up walking all the way home with numerous stops for pizza on the way.
3:ish
Get home, start watching Entourage, I keep falling asleep.
SUNDAY JULY 8, 2007
12:10
Wake up. Put on some Entourage (the episode I slept through last night). Dave makes Oatmeal.
12:15
Head over to Whole Foods to get some sprouts to go with the Oatmeal.
14:40
Finally leave the house to head over to Coney Island. Go to Whole foods for "lunch" on the way. Love the whole foods lineup system.
15:20
Our express train becomes slightly less express-ive as it stops before Coney island and we have to wait 20 minutes for the next one.
15:50
Get to Coney Island. It is about what you would expect. Which is pretty great. The sun is blasting and people are dotted all over the beach.
16:10
I take a very brief dip. The water is cold and I can see garbage in it.
16:28
The batting cages no longer seem to exist. Sad news.
16:34
The Nathan's hot dog line doesn't seem to be moving at all. I give up.
17:15
Check out the Coney Island history museum/tiny room. Is actually really interesting. They used to have a hotel with 34 rooms in the shape of an elephant in the late 1800s. It burnt down after 12 years, but "seeing the elephant" became a euphemism for having sex.
18:00
Take the express back to Manhattan.
Only it isn't the express anymore. It takes forever. Luckily Dave is farting so much that the girls sitting next to us, after laughing, get up and move to the other side of the train. I remain sitting next to Dave.
19:10
Go to Best Buy and Dave does the "test". Not only that but he does it while talking with a German accent. Turns out there is no restocking fee. Motherfuckers.
19:22
Dave gets some overpriced produce for his ailing stomach.
19:30
I introduce Dave to the wonders of Jambajuice. He goes for energy boost.
19:45
Back at the house we are slightly less excited for eating after stuffing ourselves with a large Jamba shake. We realize that the new episode of Entourage is on tonight and get excited until we realize that we can't watch it because we don't get HBO.
21:40
Finally leave the house. Destination: Lower East Side. Ying Ying decides to meet us.
22:19
After walking around for a while we finally decide on a place with a checkered floor. It is good and decently priced. I order Salmon and a Mai Tai. Of course, I have to explain how to make the Mai Tai. Dave gets a French 75. Ying Ying a mojito.
22:32
Get our drinks. The guy at the door who was so effusive about how amazing the drinks here are was exaggerating a bit. I always find that a bit suspect. Really, how amazing can you really make a Mojito?
23:15
Discover that this restaurant has the worlds biggest urinals. I have never seen anything like it. I can't explain it. I feel like I am in Kindergarten again.
23:50
Decide juke box and pinball at Max Fish is in order. So we go there.
0:15
After feeding the juke box 5 more dollars we realize that it really and truly is a lost cause. Or has a built in mechanism meant to derail mono-song choosers like us. We go to pinball.
0:35
Are doing pretty well. Even get a match. We decide to make the move and switch to Spanish. Ying Ying points out that this would be a great way to learn a language. We wholeheartedly agree.
0:55
Or was it closer to 2am? In any case, we decide that it is time to go.
1:30
Back at home we try and download the newest version of Entourage. Is not coming down fast...decide to save it for the AM.
MONDAY, JULY 9, 2007
9:00
Dave is up...oatmeal is on....we watch Entourage and he heads into work....
10:40
Finish packing up, wash up and head out the door.
11:10
Get some sunglasses at Filene's Basement and 2 pair of shorts at TJMaxx upstairs. What the hell were TJMaxx thinking when they made their name? Maxx? I find it a bit suggestive. "Our prices are so low they're almost pornographic".
12:30
Go to wholefoods and get lunch. Am almost totally out of cash now. Eat back at the house.
13:40
Am sweating like crazy, the bags are heavy, as I run a couple last errands for people in Berlin. Next time I tell no one that I am going.
14:30
Meet Dave and give him the keys.
14:50
Catch the E train back to the airport. Or at least to that money grab they call the Air Train.
The END of NYC.
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3:51am
Woke up. Worried that the alarm might not go off. Does this mean I am turning into my father? It could also be related to my last flight to Sweden in which the following happened:
1/Got up early to pack
2/Finished packing went back to bed
3/Woke up 40 minutes before my flight was supposed to depart in a panic. Somehow I had set my alarm but not "activated" it. Stupid system.
4/Ran outside desperate to find a taxi, and for once, in the middle of the day, it actually did work out. Are there actually more taxis that work at night or does it just feel like that?
I ended up making the flight - though in the rush I somehow forgot my passport. The interesting thing about that, after the initial panic, was the fact that I was somehow able to fly to Sweden and then back to Germany with only my Swedish ID card. I am always amazed when I hear about the government actually foiling a terrorist plot.
4:15
Bread, tomatoes and cheese for breakfast.
4:40
Catch the S-Bahn, and then bus to the airport.
5:20
Check in at the Alitalia counter. They have a sign flashing regarding the fact that there is NO WAY carry on is allowed to be over 5kg. That is even more insane than the already insane 10kg limit. If they are going to be that anal about it they may as well just sell us our tickets by the kilo - body mass included. Of course they didn't check.
6:10
Board the Alitalia flight. The plane has the oldest seats I have sat on while flying in the last 10 years or so. They are also a terrible shade of green.
6:50
Shortly after takeoff they hand out a rancid slice of meringue pie. It is so bad that even I, airline food lover - not to mention starving - cannot manage more than a couple bites. The MUST KNOW how much that this pie sucks. Assholes.
7:00
The black guy sitting ahead of me JAMS his seat back at high velocity into my legs. And these old seats seem to go a few degrees farther back than newer ones. I immediately and for the rest of the trip now think of him as some rich robber baron from some poor african country that is so ruthless no one has ever told him anything he does could be in the least discomforting.
8:00
Arrive and have to take a bus. I had no idea we needed to take a bus so I took my sweet time getting off the plane. The bus was waiting for me as I was the last person on. I am not a fan of airports where you have to take a bus to or from the terminal and the plane. It is often the least pleasant part of the flight. Unless they serve lemon meringue pie.
8:15
Have to go through a passport check and the guy loses his shit for a minute because I don't have a boarding pass (I have to get one at the transfer desk, which is on the other side of the passport check). A second security guard hustles over - with body language indicating that it has been far too long since he got to do an invasive body search - and things are tense until I finally whip out a luckily printed out flight itinerary.
8:30
Get my transfer. I don't know if it just because their computers don't have any graphics, but I always feel like airport staff are running everything on commodore 64s.
8:50
Get some turgid airport food and spend 10 euro doing it. I need to get better at packing snacks. A 10 euro meal in Berlin would be a feast.
9:20
Sit down in one of the incredibly comfortable seats at the Milan airport that even has a built in footstool. Perhaps he highlight of the trip so far. Have almost 2 hours to kill so start working on formatting my thesis title pages. I am tired. One hour of sleep is not enough.
11:00
First am told that my silver medallion status does not entitle me an upgrade, even though they do have business class seats available on the flight. Then, when I go up and speak to a different representative they apologize that they cannot upgrade me because there are no more available seats. What the hell happened in the meantime? And I have to take a bus to the plane.
11:40
They make me put my laptop away insanely early, so I work on the crossword. Get stuck with about 4 words left. Hate that. Am sitting next to a businessman with fish on his belt. Man, do I ever sometimes feel like I don't want to have a career. He is now going through the receipts from his trip.
13:30
Tried to nap a bit and woke up to see that the movie is "Blades of Glory". Seen it. Not impressed that there are no individual screens on the flight, but perhaps it will aid me in getting a bit more sleep. That and the fact that my computer battery is about to die. I am starving.
14:30
Finally got food. The stewardess is on her first flight and already fucked up giving out the customs forms so I am a bit dubious about the results when I ask her for a second meal. I always do second meal. Only time I did third meal, that I remember, was on our trip to Mexico during reading week. Still can't believe I never went to a traditional get drunk/get pussy reading week during university. I will have a few things to tell my kids (if they are boys).
16:06
Had a moment with the businessman next to me when I swore under my breath about the seatbelt/no-smoking sign dinging every minute or so. His response:
-Tell me about it.
18:32
Getting close now. Have been drowsing, but no real sleep. I wonder how long I am going to hold out on sleeping pills. I wonder why the fuck I have held out this long. On the screens (still can't believe there aren't individual screens on this flight - should be mandatory on trans-ocean flights) there is some movie or some show I have seen before on an airplane but years before. It was terrible. Some black kid working at a convenience store gets held up and is afraid to tell on the guy who did the robbery because they know each other and the other guy is a big tough thug. This sucks. And I can't change the channel.
SWITCHING TO NEW YORK TIME
15:10
Arrive, get off and get my stuff. Fairly uneventful. Find out that it is a bit of a crock of shit to get into Manhattan. Need to take an "Air Train" from the terminal a few miles out and then jump on the E train. So the FIRST strike is that there is not a direct way to go from the airport to downtown on public transit. The SECOND even bigger strike is that you can ride anywhere you want on a $2 subway ticket in new york, but somehow the magical air train thinks nothing of charging 5 additional dollars. What a crock of shit. Sorry, but your airport kind of sucks if you don't have the option of taking public transit all the way there. Fuck you air train.
16:50
Finally get into Manhattan at 53rd and 5th. Can switch lines and ride one station to get closer to the law office I am meeting Dave at but it is rammed with people and sweltering on the subway platform. I am amazed by how many police officers there are everywhere here. At this subway platform alone I count 6.
17:20
Get to Dave's office. Am sweating and stinking. The sport jacket which was necessary in Berlin killed me on the walk over. Being in New York feels good. Takes a while to ring up to Dave, but he finally arrives and we head briefly up to his office. I feel like if they are spending 100 bucks on lunch for everyone every day the least they might be able to do is try and make the offices look kind of sweet. Guess not. They seem to figure an aeron chair and a view of manhattan should pretty much do it. Are Aeron chairs REALLY the most comfortable chairs in the world or are businesses really that goddamn predictable? I mean, if you have a few bucks to spend why not try and spend it at least with a moderate amount of imagination?
18:30
Get to Dave's apartment. 223 west 21st. It's a nice place on the 4th floor.
19:20
Have some gin on the rocks. Am so tired I start getting drunk right away.
20:25
Finally, after talking about how hungry we are for some time, get burritos at a place close to Dave's. They are incredible. I get the Bob Marley jerk chicken. Wonder how much the first two words of the name add to sales.
21:10
Arrive at 14th and 1st, maybe it's called the East Village. Saw in the Vice guide that that is "the place". We walk down Avenue B. Full of lots of bars that all look like fun but all kind of look the same. Cross Houston and check out a place called Piano. Get a drink. Go upstairs with drinks and are promptly informed that it is table service only when we sit at a table. We go sit on a couch and she comes over and immediately tells us that the table service only goes for the couches too. wtf.
22:30
Check out a few more bars - including Max Fish, which Vice has dubbed the coolest bar in New York. Not sure how that one happened. It's fine. But I am tired so before midnight we head back to the house.
01:30
Head to sleep after watching a bit of Entourage. I am addicted after watching 6 episodes in a row on the flight over.
Friday, July 6, 2007
12:00
Get out of bed. Feel alright. Take a shower. Watch some entourage as I eat the oatmeal Dave made me. What a prince. A predictable prince in this case, but a prince all the same.
14:20
Go for a run. Do a loop that goes first to the east coast of Manhattan island, then through alphabet city, then down to Houston before turning back west. Make my way slowly back. Jogging/walking/going into stores. Find a cool sneaker store with great prices and tons of styles but everything seems to only exist up to a size 8.
16:40
Get home after a stop off at Whole Foods (god I love that grocery store) and Jamba juice (another one I have missed in Berlin and can GUARANTEE would be a hit over here). Perhaps with a bit of a more indie logo. But after they got into it they could have any logo they wanted.
17:30
Dave comes by the house. I am watching entourage. We both crack a beer. Dave basically stops at that point. I hadn't realized that he doesn't drink beer anymore. What a guy. And now he is:
"...really into Tequila now, but only good Tequila."
19:00
We make it out, with the flask in tow (filled with gin, and ice cold from the freezer - though basically all it does is freeze Dave's ass for the subway ride, by which time it is warm).
19:20
Walk around the lower east side looking for a place to eat. Pass by an art opening and stop in. It is fucking sweltering inside, but we brave the heat and make our way to the back for a free beer (or at least I do). I try to step outside the front door to drink it in order to minimize sweating and am immediately told:
"not allowed out here with that bro"
What an ASININE LAW! Only in North America. The land of the free. But the land where you can't sit in the park with some friends and have a beer. What a terrible joke - and I realize this all the more coming from Berlin. The problem is also that the few places in the country where you can drink in the street (Vegas, Key West, etc.) people are so excited about it they go bananas. So then anti-public drinking people are like:
"See?! I told you!"
When obviously it is the incredible restriction itself which creates these over the top excesses. Enough.
20:05
Go to a restaurant with a patio. Try to order a Mai Thai. They don't know what it is so I have to explain it. I feel both slightly proud and slightly like a loser doing this. Dave gets a French 75. We order burgers.
20:15
A table on the outside patio opens up, we nab it. Drinks and food are great. Waiter is great. Just the right amount of service and friendliness. I order a beer and Dave a glass of tonic water which we douse with some gin from the flask.
20:30
Talk to Ying-Ying - she is heading to the Vice photo party and gives us the address. We find it on the map.
21:10
Riding the train to Williamsburg in the Bronx I see a girl who looks suspiciously like Ying Ying (remember I haven't seen her in 5 years or so). I call her. She sees her phone ringing and looks at it but doesn't answer. Totally busted. I tell Dave that it is Ying Ying. She turns and looks at us looking at her and gets that dawning recognition look. Priceless.
21:25
Get to the Vice party. Cans of Colt45 are being given away. Don't think I have had one since university. Actually seems better than I remember. See some photos. Meet a couple Austrian girls. Try to talk German to them. They humor me for a few minutes. And it is fucking hot inside, but of course no drinking on the sidewalk. We're in a civilized country here.
22:00
Party finishes up, follow a coupe of Ying Ying's friends to another bar.
22:45
Getting pretty drunk at this point. Steal a drink just so that I don't have to wait in line at the bar. Don't really remember our conversation. Dave seems to be in a good mood.
23:30
Go to a bar that some guy recommended to me. It is Dave, YingYing and I at this point. The bar is mediocre. We go to sit outside and see a party in the 4th story of the building across the street. Dave is about to go check it out when YY surprises us by puking right beside where she is sitting.
23:45
Hang out talking to Ying Ying while dave reconnoiters the party. YY decides that she is too drunk to continue (after puking again) and takes a cab home. I meet Dave and we head into the house party.
00:20
Talk to a Japanese girl on the balcony at the party with Dave. She is hilarious in that Japanese girl way. You almost want to experiement with their heads as much as talk to them. Dave asks the classic:
"what's your favourite flavour" question.
But doesn't get the answer he was hoping for (mayonnaise).
0:55
Decide to head back to the lower East Side for some bar hopping.
2:25
Spend about 5 bucks in the jukebox trying to get it to play the same song over and over. No success. We are suspicious about how connected to the sound system the jukebox actually is.
2:30
Follow this up with 2 man pinball. One per flipper. Inefficient but exciting. We reach a high of 9 million. Replay at 36. No matches.
3:15
Go to the dark bar or whatever it is called across from Max Fish. They are playing good music and we dance a bit and then decide to head home.
4:00
Play brick breaker on YingYing's blackberry (which she forgot on the ground and Dave, luckily, found) all the way back on the subway.
SATURDAY JULY 7, 2007
10:50
I wake up and look at the clock on my computer. 16:50. I can't fucking believe it. I slept (and apparently Dave too) until 5pm. I run down the hall to tell Dave, and as I open the door it dawns on me that my computer is still on Germany time. Feeling equal parts foolish and relieved I watch some episodes of Entourage since the adrenaline surge has put falling back asleep out of the question.
12:20
Dave gets up. Makes oatmeal. Attaboy. We watch some Entourage. Dave hasn't seen it before but immediately gets into it. Of course. We read our 7:30am messages from YingYing apologizing for the night before. We dawdle around for a while. I remember that the song I was thinking of at the jukebox the other night was Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up". We put it on repeat (NB: credit for this selection goes to Bill Simmons).
14:10
Leave the house and show Dave whole foods. He gets excited about the raw sprouts. He says:
-They're an energy food!
14:30
Go to Best Buy to get a camera for the weekend that I will return on Monday. See the one I want and ask the salesman for it. As he is taking it out he starts his spiel:
-Well there are two warranties we offer with this camera, you can either get 2 years for 24.99 or -
I cut him off there.
-No thanks, I'm not going to take any warranty.
He gives me a look.
-Ok, so, there's a 15% restocking fee on the camera (the camera is 200 bucks, therefore 30 dollar restocking fee).
He slaps a sticker to that effect onto the box and tells us to meet him at the cash. We do no such thing and leave the store post-haste.
We begin laughing when it dawns on us how utterly transparent our scheme was, and decide to try and find out if the 15% is a standard fee at some point
14:45
Go into Staples across the street and act very indecisive over which camera to buy. I hem and haw for a while and then "seriously consider" the extended warranty. We get the camera minus a restocking fee.
15:15
Drop off the camera box at the house. Leave. Realize about 20 minutes later that I left the battery in the charger at home. So now I have to carry around the camera in my pocket all night for absolutely no reason. I am D-lighted.
17:00
Walk/bus it toward Chinatown. Stop in Washington Park. What a great scene. Don't know where I would find that in Berlin. Or anywhere in Europe.
17:23
Check out some second hand books. Buy A Quiet American and a book on writing by Twain. Great selection and the guy really knows his stuff, but doesn't flaunt it.
17:50
Head south and call Ying Ying - she is one block away. We meet up by an ice cream truck.
17:55
I see a guy selling Rolexs on the corner. I get him to go from 60 to 30. Should have got him to adjust the size however.
18:30
Canal street is a nightmare for walking but we finally make it to the dumpling place Ying Ying knows.
18:47
Dave burns his tongue on the dumplings. They are great. The rest of the food we get is mediocre. The place is packed. We have to share our table with another 3 people. I kind of like it.
19:22
Go to a chinese ice cream place. Get durian and something else. It is actually really good but I am so full I can barely get it down. Dave fills in pretty well though.
19:50
Walking home we stop in to check out some Ted Baker shirts for Dave. In pink of course.
20:15
Get home and have some gin. Sit on the fire escape.
21:50
Head over to 230 on 5th - a recommendation by a girl on somewhere to go have a drink "high up". There is a huge line and we are about to puke but then notice it is moving incredibly fast. We jump in and within 5 minutes are on the elevator up. The view is amazing. 20th floor in Midtown. We get a couple drinks and sneak in the servers entrance to the VIP area which is less crowded and grab a couple of seats there.
22:07
A waitress comes by and tells us that she is on to us, but that she won't kick us out right away - we can finish our drinks. I am impressed.
22:17
A pair of girls sit down with us. We have a fairly typical but enjoyable conversation.
22:35
The waitress comes by again and we have to leave this time.
23:05
Take a taxi down to the club on Greenwich street where the misshapes party is happening.
23:15
Not delighted with the 10 dollar cover.
23:20
Even less delighted with the 7 dollar bottled beers.
23:35
Music is getting pretty good.
2:10
Decide to head out. Decide to walk.
2:30....etc
End up walking all the way home with numerous stops for pizza on the way.
3:ish
Get home, start watching Entourage, I keep falling asleep.
SUNDAY JULY 8, 2007
12:10
Wake up. Put on some Entourage (the episode I slept through last night). Dave makes Oatmeal.
12:15
Head over to Whole Foods to get some sprouts to go with the Oatmeal.
14:40
Finally leave the house to head over to Coney Island. Go to Whole foods for "lunch" on the way. Love the whole foods lineup system.
15:20
Our express train becomes slightly less express-ive as it stops before Coney island and we have to wait 20 minutes for the next one.
15:50
Get to Coney Island. It is about what you would expect. Which is pretty great. The sun is blasting and people are dotted all over the beach.
16:10
I take a very brief dip. The water is cold and I can see garbage in it.
16:28
The batting cages no longer seem to exist. Sad news.
16:34
The Nathan's hot dog line doesn't seem to be moving at all. I give up.
17:15
Check out the Coney Island history museum/tiny room. Is actually really interesting. They used to have a hotel with 34 rooms in the shape of an elephant in the late 1800s. It burnt down after 12 years, but "seeing the elephant" became a euphemism for having sex.
18:00
Take the express back to Manhattan.
Only it isn't the express anymore. It takes forever. Luckily Dave is farting so much that the girls sitting next to us, after laughing, get up and move to the other side of the train. I remain sitting next to Dave.
19:10
Go to Best Buy and Dave does the "test". Not only that but he does it while talking with a German accent. Turns out there is no restocking fee. Motherfuckers.
19:22
Dave gets some overpriced produce for his ailing stomach.
19:30
I introduce Dave to the wonders of Jambajuice. He goes for energy boost.
19:45
Back at the house we are slightly less excited for eating after stuffing ourselves with a large Jamba shake. We realize that the new episode of Entourage is on tonight and get excited until we realize that we can't watch it because we don't get HBO.
21:40
Finally leave the house. Destination: Lower East Side. Ying Ying decides to meet us.
22:19
After walking around for a while we finally decide on a place with a checkered floor. It is good and decently priced. I order Salmon and a Mai Tai. Of course, I have to explain how to make the Mai Tai. Dave gets a French 75. Ying Ying a mojito.
22:32
Get our drinks. The guy at the door who was so effusive about how amazing the drinks here are was exaggerating a bit. I always find that a bit suspect. Really, how amazing can you really make a Mojito?
23:15
Discover that this restaurant has the worlds biggest urinals. I have never seen anything like it. I can't explain it. I feel like I am in Kindergarten again.
23:50
Decide juke box and pinball at Max Fish is in order. So we go there.
0:15
After feeding the juke box 5 more dollars we realize that it really and truly is a lost cause. Or has a built in mechanism meant to derail mono-song choosers like us. We go to pinball.
0:35
Are doing pretty well. Even get a match. We decide to make the move and switch to Spanish. Ying Ying points out that this would be a great way to learn a language. We wholeheartedly agree.
0:55
Or was it closer to 2am? In any case, we decide that it is time to go.
1:30
Back at home we try and download the newest version of Entourage. Is not coming down fast...decide to save it for the AM.
MONDAY, JULY 9, 2007
9:00
Dave is up...oatmeal is on....we watch Entourage and he heads into work....
10:40
Finish packing up, wash up and head out the door.
11:10
Get some sunglasses at Filene's Basement and 2 pair of shorts at TJMaxx upstairs. What the hell were TJMaxx thinking when they made their name? Maxx? I find it a bit suggestive. "Our prices are so low they're almost pornographic".
12:30
Go to wholefoods and get lunch. Am almost totally out of cash now. Eat back at the house.
13:40
Am sweating like crazy, the bags are heavy, as I run a couple last errands for people in Berlin. Next time I tell no one that I am going.
14:30
Meet Dave and give him the keys.
14:50
Catch the E train back to the airport. Or at least to that money grab they call the Air Train.
The END of NYC.
posted by deerplow at 3:52 PM
